London

Quiet day today, I went to a library to type up some more resumes and then walked over to the mall, didn't buy anything of course because if I keep spending money I'm going to have to become a British hooker. Like I get that London is expensive but holy Jesus I didn't realize before I got here how expensive it was going to be! Like it never clicked in my head that just a small water is more than 4 dollars! That shit adds up! 

For the 2nd Friday in a row I didn't know it was Friday! I only realized when I saw someone's status about going out and partying tonight. That's how lame my life has gotten. The days of the week seem to never end for me because I am never going out and having a drink or having fun for that matter. And I realize that a detox is good! Don't get me wrong. But I was a bartender only 4 short weeks ago! It's very weird to go from a constantly party atmosphere to what feels like an on going episode of the golden girls. I take it back. I bet those ladies are partying harder than me at the moment. 

But partying and going out isn't what I want at this moment. It's finding a job and making friends! I need to be able to talk to someone who I can actually talk to again the next day, or be with a group of people talking or anything! Any type of conversation will do! If I don't get it I will go crazy I think. And like I said if I don't find work soon I will be in serious trouble money wise that is! 

Maybe it's because I have yet to make friends but I'm already thinking that these 10 months are going to be too long. It hasn't even been 2 weeks and I already think that which isn't good. I'm really hoping that it's just because I haven't met anyone and that these feelings will pass but a part of me just keeps saying that maybe I'm not cut out for travelling by myself for months at a time. 

Don't get me wrong I love travel and I want to continue, but a part of me just keeps saying that maybe I should be doing it in small amounts and not all at once. I wish I had prepared myself better before leaving. No idea how I could have done that but I wish I could have mentally realized what I was about to get myself into. 

I'm moving to a new hostel on Tuesday, one that from the looks of it has a lot of young travellers! So hopefully I can make friends there, fingers crossed! And then from there I can find a job! Here's hoping to better weeks to come!